Bulletproof Heart.

Don’t you hate getting bullet holes in your new jacket?

I hate getting bullet holes in my new jacket. So I blast the pig that

shot at me, and i’m working on blasting his friend. They scream out that BL-incorporated was going to get me eventually, and that I couldn’t hide forever.

Fuck that! Whatever,I’m done sitting in submission.I have to do it now, and do it loud. Make a stand and take back what belongs to me.It’s time to take back what belongs to all of us.

So this message is for anyone who wants to get into our way.

Don’t. We’re not taking prisoners anymore, We’ll call you out, smack you down and still get home in time for dinner.  We’ve got no heros, so we’re not afraid to play the villains. 

You want to hurt me? Fine. But You want to hurt my people? Think again pissbaby, Just give me the excuse to string you up like the jaded, lukewarm hardcore asswipes you’re pretending to be. Because I know that you’re not really as apathetic as you might want them to see.

To all my girls who are tired of hearing wolf whistles while you’re walking down root guano.  And to all my boys who are done hearing the words “Man Up.” And to all my gender queer kids who are done with the binary system. It’s time for us to rise up and throw them down.

They don’t believe in us, they don’t believe in our cause.They’ve chosen to remain bystanders to another revolution. So what do we do? We fight back, use our voices and change the future

Are you ready? We’re the only ones willing to stand up to the people who think they’re in charge.

So to all the people who would try and stop us, go ahead and try. We will stand and fight for what we believe, and we will win. We’re done sitting around and letting horrible people control our lives. So shove that in your juice box and suck it, because we’re blowing out of this town. 

We’re done letting rape jokes and slurs slide. The next time you hear someone make a comment in the hall, call them out. Use your voice before you become just another bystander, just like them. It’s time for a new era to take hold, It’s time to dream again.

Fuzzy.

Finally, I feel happy.

Relaxation sets into my bones,
And a smile slips onto my face.
There doesn't have to be a struggle tonight.

New hair,
New ideas,
New me.

I will get better,
No more hurting myself,
No more overreacting.

We can get it right this time,
We can figure it out.

Homework, School, Life.
We can handle it.
Shits going to go down,
That much is promised.
But we can take it.

A smile slips onto my face,
Batteries in my camera.
I'm ready to get ahead again.

Finally I feel freed.

This is me.

Hey.
It's easier for me to tell you like this, all in pixels and letters. When I talk my words get all jumbled, and when I IM you there are too many typos.

You're one of the most important things to happen to me, one of my best friends. I want so badly for us to have some profound friendship like they do in movies, and in books. I know that's not real life too. You're not going to tell me every little detail of your life, and you're going to get annoyed when I try and tell you mine. But I'm okay with that. I know that we may not always talk. And when we do it's single words and small responses, but thank you for giving me your time. And thank you for letting me into your life.

I'm not the most amazing friend. I make a lot of mistakes and I push too much of my shit out into the open. I don't really have boundaries and I over share a lot. But that's just because I trust you. And I'm not going to just bag on myself, because sometimes you irritate the hell out of me. And that's how it's supposed to be.

I love you, and I'm so glad you're still my friend. <3

Hugs.

It's the way you hug.
I know that those are for everyone,
And not "special" just for me,
But I can't help wondering what it would be like,
If they were.
It's like a drug, because I finally feel okay.
Safe.
It's your hugs.
They make me feel loved.

Bitter Memories and Moving On.

Nearly two months with out a relapse.
Still lots of shouting, but less crying.
More frustration, but the thoughts of ending it float away.

I talk with my friends everyday.
Go on mini vacations.
Work to make myself feel better.

I'm finally moving forward.
After a year of hiding behind a wall.
I can breath again.

I can finally feel the word spinning.