The Way I Like You.

I don't like you in the

Teenage love quote, kiss me now

Kind of way.

I like you in the,

Let's get a pizza

And talk about music and video games,

Kind of way.

Gosh I'm an idiot.

Sometimes I sit,

And look at your name

Hoping for it to speak too me.

Sometimes I just want to talk too you.

No romance, or flowery language.

Just you and me and a two lietter of pepsi.

Unless you're a coke,

Then I'll give you shit about that.

Sad thoughts and second chances?

You guys are the greatest. And maybe that's the point. I get so stuck up in all the problems and fears that i forget that nothing is ever as bad as it seems. There will always be magic when I'm with you guys. It' serially funny. I may not have a home in a traditional sense, but when the hell am I traditional? I love you guys, in the cheesy semi romantic "hug me brother" kinda way.

You're perfect and you make me perfect too.

And I couldn't imagine life with out you by my side.

Through minors and majors and fuck ups and loves and ups and downs. That's a run on sentence but you get the idea.

Never in a million years did I think things were going to turn up like this,

Getting a yes, friends, lovely feelings of melancholy sadness mixed with joy. 

Death and life all at the same time.

And it's all thanks too you.

I'm a Mess of Emotion, and You are Detatched from Us.

What words shall I use to describe what we've done.
Broken toys from a magic little box.
I was always told to fix it.

Every single time,
"Just fix It."
 Break and fix, breaking and fixing.

This is what I've been made into.
A mess of broken springs,
And impossibly shattered dreams.

You look at everyone around me now.
I'm surrounded by small reminders that we are not Us.
You are made too break me.

And I can't fix me anymore.
I'm not your idea of friend I have learned.
You think me wrong.

Over dramatic,
Over blown.

Autumn Leaves Kiss You.

The air is crisp with the trace's of you. Leaves crunch under my old leather boots, passed onto me from my brother who out grew them all too quickly. My heart quickens as you take my hand in your own. The heat is unbearable, even with the chilly wind dancing around us. Your eyes like amber, bright and all encompassing, stair straight into my soul. I look away instinctively, by habit, but you're having none of that. You tilt my head to meet your gaze, smiling radiating warmth. My fingers curl into yours, entwining them while we walk through the fall.

We move in silence for awhile, your eyes drifting to meet mine every so often. As we walk through an arch made of fiery orange oaks, you bring my hand up to kiss it softly. Your lips burn against my cold skin,
"You should have brought gloves." You berate me with that clever smile I love so much.
I nod, pressing myself close to you. Smile finding its way onto my face.

With a shift to my left, I pull you into a tight hug, stopping us in the middle of the park.
"Today's been amazing." I say, muffled into your chest.
"Today's been more then that," You reply before you kiss my forehead and ruffle my hair.

I straighten out my bangs, punching your shoulder softly. Then we walk off into the mid October sky, surrounded by cold and warmth and love.

Fuzzy.

Finally, I feel happy.

Relaxation sets into my bones,
And a smile slips onto my face.
There doesn't have to be a struggle tonight.

New hair,
New ideas,
New me.

I will get better,
No more hurting myself,
No more overreacting.

We can get it right this time,
We can figure it out.

Homework, School, Life.
We can handle it.
Shits going to go down,
That much is promised.
But we can take it.

A smile slips onto my face,
Batteries in my camera.
I'm ready to get ahead again.

Finally I feel freed.

This is me.

Hey.
It's easier for me to tell you like this, all in pixels and letters. When I talk my words get all jumbled, and when I IM you there are too many typos.

You're one of the most important things to happen to me, one of my best friends. I want so badly for us to have some profound friendship like they do in movies, and in books. I know that's not real life too. You're not going to tell me every little detail of your life, and you're going to get annoyed when I try and tell you mine. But I'm okay with that. I know that we may not always talk. And when we do it's single words and small responses, but thank you for giving me your time. And thank you for letting me into your life.

I'm not the most amazing friend. I make a lot of mistakes and I push too much of my shit out into the open. I don't really have boundaries and I over share a lot. But that's just because I trust you. And I'm not going to just bag on myself, because sometimes you irritate the hell out of me. And that's how it's supposed to be.

I love you, and I'm so glad you're still my friend. <3

Hugs.

It's the way you hug.
I know that those are for everyone,
And not "special" just for me,
But I can't help wondering what it would be like,
If they were.
It's like a drug, because I finally feel okay.
Safe.
It's your hugs.
They make me feel loved.

Home.

I want to go home.
To a place where I feel safe,
To a place where I feel loved.

It's always so angry here,
This place is filled with so much pain,
There has been so much fighting.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I want to run.
To let my feet carry me past the city's,
And past the oceans,
To a place where I can hide.

Take me home.
To a place where I'll feel loved for the first time.
And where I'll be loved forever.

Take me to a place where I feel safe,
Loved,
And warm.

(7-15-13) Notebooks.

Cool crowd stires around me,
Soft "'scuse me""s are whispered
In a strangers voice.
Giggles from the young mix with
The disgruntled sighs from the old,
And those of us unspoken
Remain still.