Forget Me Not

I worry about you all the time, and think about you too.
I think of how I love your eyes, and all the things we'll do.
I think to myself how much I wish there was more I could do.
To show you dear, the reasons why, I whole heartily love you.
I see the cosmic energy seeping from your skin,
I know the burning is stirring love, I can feel it in the wind.
But promise me you will not fade,
for this is surely true.
I, the Writer, have loved you so.
I will never forget you.

A Little More Then Hopeless Romantic.

I found the cure to growing old in her peppermint smile.
I'd be damned if I didn't mention that
even the mere sight of her handle gives me heart palpitations.
A gentle tip tapping, ripping at the delicate muscle.

Sometimes I want to pull a "Practical Magic" and
Just set a spell telling me that,
No, I don't fall in love with those eyes.
No, I don't find the way you laugh at me endearing at all.

No. That isn't the slightest bit true.
And of course number one on my list is not to lie.
And how dare I break that rule,
By lying to myself, telling me that I don't want you.

As the Summer died, gasping out His final breath.
Winter takes Her hold on me.
Two aspects of my soul, fighting for the spotlight.

Because where he was warm and wild,
She is cool and gentle.
And where he loved me in the moonlight,
She'll love me in the sun.

The way her hand cradles my heart,
As though it was a hawk with a broken wing.
Something fierce and crippled.
Makes the tip tapping grow a little more each day.
-XoHunter.

It's a terrable thing called love.

"That's what it was like today, i was super nervous at first, but after awhile it was just like 'hold her hand, kiss her cheek, tell her she's radiant, drink coffee, hold her hand, kiss her knuckles and tell her that everything is going to be alight' and everything was alright"~H.L.Baugus

Here is simple.

I'm listening to music she’s playing, through a tiny broken screen

There is a slight chill to the air, a spirit still fresh

Sandalwood smoke on my end. something sweet, like vanilla, on hers

Butterflies dancing in my belly from how much I've been here before.

How many times I've imagined this.

How many times I've had this memory before.

Almost like a heavy weight, my eyes begin to droop

I can’t wait to see her, to grab her hand and kiss her knuckles.

The ones she’s going to break my heart with I swear.

But id take it.

I'd take anything she'd give to me.

Happily

In love.

That's How I Wanna To Go.

You have skin that reminds me of a salted caramel mocha,
And eyes like milk fucking chocolate.
Yeah you make me swear.
You look amazing today and every single day.

Plus I'm ninety percent sure I've had a crush on you since freshmen year.
But what does it matter.
I'm not risking us being friends over the immortal need to kiss your fears away.

I hate to see you sad,
I want to take you in my arms and make you feel warm.
Let's go get a pizza,
And watch a movie?

I want to be with you,
Friends first, kisses later.
Just how do I go about telling you that?

That you smell much better then clean soap and rain.
You smell like nice perfume and earth and warmth.
You are so damn graceful and,
I just don't know how to not like you.
(Deeply inspired by Collar Full by Panic! at the Disco.)
And the thing is, this isn't the first time i've had these feelings.
I was going to ask you out before she did.
And then after to.
Bur I was so afraid of hurting someone,
Stepping on toes.

And now i'm too afraid of losing you.

But I could have sworn to god you looked at my lips,
If only for a second.
Gosh I hope you don't see this.

I can't risk losing you again.

The Way I Like You.

I don't like you in the

Teenage love quote, kiss me now

Kind of way.

I like you in the,

Let's get a pizza

And talk about music and video games,

Kind of way.

Gosh I'm an idiot.

Sometimes I sit,

And look at your name

Hoping for it to speak too me.

Sometimes I just want to talk too you.

No romance, or flowery language.

Just you and me and a two lietter of pepsi.

Unless you're a coke,

Then I'll give you shit about that.

Sad thoughts and second chances?

You guys are the greatest. And maybe that's the point. I get so stuck up in all the problems and fears that i forget that nothing is ever as bad as it seems. There will always be magic when I'm with you guys. It' serially funny. I may not have a home in a traditional sense, but when the hell am I traditional? I love you guys, in the cheesy semi romantic "hug me brother" kinda way.

You're perfect and you make me perfect too.

And I couldn't imagine life with out you by my side.

Through minors and majors and fuck ups and loves and ups and downs. That's a run on sentence but you get the idea.

Never in a million years did I think things were going to turn up like this,

Getting a yes, friends, lovely feelings of melancholy sadness mixed with joy. 

Death and life all at the same time.

And it's all thanks too you.

Autumn Leaves Kiss You.

The air is crisp with the trace's of you. Leaves crunch under my old leather boots, passed onto me from my brother who out grew them all too quickly. My heart quickens as you take my hand in your own. The heat is unbearable, even with the chilly wind dancing around us. Your eyes like amber, bright and all encompassing, stair straight into my soul. I look away instinctively, by habit, but you're having none of that. You tilt my head to meet your gaze, smiling radiating warmth. My fingers curl into yours, entwining them while we walk through the fall.

We move in silence for awhile, your eyes drifting to meet mine every so often. As we walk through an arch made of fiery orange oaks, you bring my hand up to kiss it softly. Your lips burn against my cold skin,
"You should have brought gloves." You berate me with that clever smile I love so much.
I nod, pressing myself close to you. Smile finding its way onto my face.

With a shift to my left, I pull you into a tight hug, stopping us in the middle of the park.
"Today's been amazing." I say, muffled into your chest.
"Today's been more then that," You reply before you kiss my forehead and ruffle my hair.

I straighten out my bangs, punching your shoulder softly. Then we walk off into the mid October sky, surrounded by cold and warmth and love.

Fuzzy.

Finally, I feel happy.

Relaxation sets into my bones,
And a smile slips onto my face.
There doesn't have to be a struggle tonight.

New hair,
New ideas,
New me.

I will get better,
No more hurting myself,
No more overreacting.

We can get it right this time,
We can figure it out.

Homework, School, Life.
We can handle it.
Shits going to go down,
That much is promised.
But we can take it.

A smile slips onto my face,
Batteries in my camera.
I'm ready to get ahead again.

Finally I feel freed.

This is me.

Hey.
It's easier for me to tell you like this, all in pixels and letters. When I talk my words get all jumbled, and when I IM you there are too many typos.

You're one of the most important things to happen to me, one of my best friends. I want so badly for us to have some profound friendship like they do in movies, and in books. I know that's not real life too. You're not going to tell me every little detail of your life, and you're going to get annoyed when I try and tell you mine. But I'm okay with that. I know that we may not always talk. And when we do it's single words and small responses, but thank you for giving me your time. And thank you for letting me into your life.

I'm not the most amazing friend. I make a lot of mistakes and I push too much of my shit out into the open. I don't really have boundaries and I over share a lot. But that's just because I trust you. And I'm not going to just bag on myself, because sometimes you irritate the hell out of me. And that's how it's supposed to be.

I love you, and I'm so glad you're still my friend. <3

Hugs.

It's the way you hug.
I know that those are for everyone,
And not "special" just for me,
But I can't help wondering what it would be like,
If they were.
It's like a drug, because I finally feel okay.
Safe.
It's your hugs.
They make me feel loved.

Home.

I want to go home.
To a place where I feel safe,
To a place where I feel loved.

It's always so angry here,
This place is filled with so much pain,
There has been so much fighting.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I want to run.
To let my feet carry me past the city's,
And past the oceans,
To a place where I can hide.

Take me home.
To a place where I'll feel loved for the first time.
And where I'll be loved forever.

Take me to a place where I feel safe,
Loved,
And warm.

Bitter Memories and Moving On.

Nearly two months with out a relapse.
Still lots of shouting, but less crying.
More frustration, but the thoughts of ending it float away.

I talk with my friends everyday.
Go on mini vacations.
Work to make myself feel better.

I'm finally moving forward.
After a year of hiding behind a wall.
I can breath again.

I can finally feel the word spinning.

Sweets and Best Friends

You count.

I've decided to trust you, you can know everything.
When I'm hurting i'm going to complain to you.
When i'm happy, i'm going to sing at you.

This means complete honesty.
And me being so comfortable with you it'll seem weird to some people.

I'll expect you to get me, in ways that even my family doesn't.

And you're going to see the worst of me, but you're also going to get the best.

I'm going to throw four hundred percent at you.
And this is scary.
But I know that you'll get it.

I'm going to hug you a lot, and longer then I hug others
And kiss your cheek.

You're going to get presents, handmade and customized.

And lastly, you're going to get "I love you's" not romantic, but sweet little things just to express how much you mean to me.

I love you, Best friend.

Little imperfections make the world twirl.

"I wish I had a smaller stomach." A girl says to herself sternly as she picks herself apart in the mirror.
"Mines so freaking tiny, dude!" Exclaims the growth challenged teenage boy to his friend in the locker room.
"I hate myself." Whispers half the generation.

What they don't know is how those tiny imperfections make them beautiful.
No star is a perfect diamond.
No grain of sand is completely smooth.

Look at the imperfect world around you.
Stare at the stars and realize that you are not perfect.
But no one else is either.

Eyes Heavy and the Mysterious Lost Two Hours.

Im tired. I can't sleep.
Im talking with my friends,
I have friends?
Maybe not the ones I want.
Im watching movies,
Breaking rules.
Waiting for the sun to rise.
One, two, three episodes and half a movie later.

It's three AM.
I made a radio station,
Updated tumblr,
Made a new email,
Updated facebook.

But im still no closer to finding you.

Envy.

I want friends like you and yours.

Who miss me.
And worry about my wrists.
Just like they worry about each other.

I want people to constantly worry about me like I do them.
And worry about losing me.
And miss me like crazy.

But I guess that's just how it is for me.
I guess that's just how it works.

So I'll but you in a jar,
And watch as you all blossom.
And leave scars in my wake.

Hoping that someone remembers me.

Heat.

There is a heat that burns you in the summer.
Stemming from a million different things, 
Never being resolved.

You want to go out,
Adventuring, Exploring, Figuring shit out.
But you can't make it out the door without someone shouting

It's too hot to deal with this right now.
The withering feeling in the pit of your stomach.
You're doing nothing with your life.

Forty bucks.
Hundreds of places.
But not permission.

It's the kind of heat that engulfs you.
And burns from the inside out.
And brings tears to your eyes.

The kind of heat that only summer could bring.

Things I Want, And What I Get.

One big ass laptop with a pretty color to match.
Less fire ants.
A little bit of magic.
And maybe an exciting lake adventure.

A sweet kiss.
And an adventure.

Come let me dip dye your hair.
Lets make flower crowns.
We'll make beautiful memories this summer.

But what I get is screaming.
Lies.
And a few more red lines.
-H.L.B

Choices.

I did not wake up today choosing to miss you.

I did not want to recall the cut of your jaw,

Or the way you laughed at my jokes.

I did not want to miss you.

I never wanted you to leave me.

You promised me you wouldn't go.

You made me fall in love with you.

Your smile, your heart.

Even the sound of your voice made my knees week.

I new, deep down that it wasn't meant to be,

But you made me feel beautiful,

And smart,

And loved.

I did not wake up today choosing to miss you.

But I will fall asleep tonight choosing to let you into my thoughts.

Allowing you to invade my mind,

And make it your home.

To the right of me.

You're right there.
Just to the right of me,
God I could reach out and touch you,
You are right there.

Goddamn my reflection.
Looking at myself has become the worst idea ever.
I could be on sky nine.
But compared to you, I am nothing.

Can I look past the window,
And get the courage to chase you?